Switchfoot, where is the redemption you were talking about?

Besides the supernatural, love is also one great example of those things which cannot be explained by science. It is a feeling suddenly perceived by someone without a reason or sometimes, with a reason; however, it is always unexplainable. No one knows why it exists. It is just so ironic that it can change someone completely. It can make someone so happy and make him feel like he is already in the clouds while at the same time, it can anytime bring that someone down and make him feel like there is no reason for living already and that he cannot already get up.

This morning, I talked with my mom about my uncle. His girlfriend left him because she was already tired of him. My uncle was not really an ideal boyfriend. He has two daughters already and an ex-wife. There are also time where he tends to become violent. Still, I do sympathize him for his situation right now. Right now, he is really really depressed. Last Monday, my aunts had to fetch him because he injected himself tranquilizer so fell asleep on the streets. He also tried to slash himself. He calls my mom every day so they can talk. When he saw my mom, he hugged her and cried. Last Thursday, he asked someone to buy flowers for his girlfriend. :( Good thing, my mom was able to convince him to talk to a psychiatrist. Nevertheless, the psychiatrist just game him anti-depressants. His current situation right now? He is just sleeping and not eating all the time. He was just dextrosed the other day as substitute for food.

Actually, I cannot really blame her girlfriend for leaving him but I believe that she should also help my uncle move on just like how he helped her when she was in the same situation. I really feel sad for my uncle. I once experienced the same thing that is why I know the feeling. I became so depressed because of almost the same reason. I found my life not worth living anymore. Every day I woke up in the morning, one question was always striking into my head: Ano pang rason para mabuhay ako? My uncle uncle is saying almost the same thing right now. He is saying that he cannot live without her girlfriend. I was always trying to extend my sleeping hours. Whenever I cannot sleep anymore, I eat my breakfast and again, try to go back to bed. I cannot even count how many sighs I was making every day. I think it lasted for two weeks. One weekend, I became sick so I was not able to study for my first Calculus long test where I got a very super painful F. I do not know how I was able to get out of it. I just realized one day that I should fix myself so I just concentrated on my studies, my friends, my cousins and basketball. Luckily, my friends became successful in convincing me and making me realize that there is still more to life. Luckily, I was a strong person. Luckily, I still had my principles and other important things to me left.

It really takes time. Up to now, there are still times when I tend to feel that feeling. What I do is just try to ignore it and tell myself it is not worth it.

We do not really know how to help my uncle. IT REALLY TAKES TIME. The first person who can help him is just himself and it is not really an easy process. Mahirap bumangon, promise. Just like what my sister just sang now said, "Nobody said it was easy." Thanks to Coldplay. I just hope that he will be able to have his redemption sooner, please?

By the way, my mom cried while we were talking. I also did. :|

This is surrender
To a war-torn life I've lived.
Scars and stripes forever
In need of change I can't resist.

No need to hide anything anymore.
Can't return to who I was before.

I can finally breathe.
Suddenly alive.
I can finally move.
The world feels revived.

This long of a struggle
Finally opened up my eyes.
Revolution's not easy
With a Civil War on the inside.

No need to hide anything anymore.
Can't return to who I was before.

-Breathe, Anberlin